Random Quotes, Part 1

Here are a few random quotes from living in CA in '08.


Justin:
Two words: Do some work.

I'm gonna be the first pimp to walk on the moon.


Joe:
Who is Darfur, a little African kid or a whale or what?

You know, it smelled like pungent pollen.

I got brain freeze in my shoulder.


A.J.:
Why are you guys always so negative toward each other?
Trey:
Shut up A.J., you’re the one who always wants to fight.
A.J.
Yeah, but I’d rather beat the crap out of you guys than have you hurt my feelings.


A.J.:
Come one Yale. Come on pre-med.
Trey:
That has no correlance.


Graham:
I figure I'm gonna die of some form of cancer.. lung, liver, skin.. colon.. that would suck.


Trent:
You can't just say things and have them go into oblivion.


Trey:
In my story a guy says, “Why don't you quite flapping your gums like a dumb nigger?”
Me:
Does your story have a white supremacist?
Trey:
Yeah, it does! You got that… good, my writing is getting better.
Me:
Duh, it has your character calling someone a dumb nigger.
Trey:
Hey, it could have just been anyone from the south.


Michael:
Girls come to Master's and get treated like aliens.


Ruben:
I don't want to offend the girls with my huge biceps.

(at a poker game) No outside in-source help.


Justin: Ruben, what if you looked around to see if everyone has played before you turn over the next card?
Ruben: What if you had a monkey up your ass?


Me:
What's a “g”?
Ruben:
A gangster status civilian. You can hustle people when they're not looking.


Me:
Ruben, You can’t remember anything.
Jeff:
Yeah, and you’ve only had like 5 beers.
Ruben:
No, I’ve only had 2 beers.
Me:
See, you can’t remember anything.
Ruben:
Okay, so I had 1 at the casino, so 4 beers.
Me:
Ruben, you see what I mean?
Ruben:
Well, to be technical I’ve had 2 and a half.


(at a restaurant)
Logan:
D's been bitching a lot lately. “I'm gonna go sulk in my room, 'cause I have cancer.” He has turned into a sulk monster.
Chris:
He probably un-paused the tv. “You guys left, so now I get to watch what I want to watch.”
Logan:
And then if we call him out on it, he'll just accuse us of being bitches.
(returning)
Chris:
Oh, so it looks like you un-paused the tv.
Dex:
Is that bitchery I hear?
Chris:
You're being a bitch.
Logan:
We knew it.


Chris:
This person had a double mastectomy.
Logan:
You mean they just lop them off?
Chris:
Yeah.
Logan:
How can they not have a cure besides just lopping it off?
Chris:
You should wear a pink bracelet.
Logan:
I'll wear a pink suit if it will stop breast cancer.